On a journey to find out what interests me, what's important to me, and to simply share -- whether it's worth sharing is of no consequence. I like pandas.
Different situations involving the phrase, “you should know”.
It can be annoying when people have expectations about you based on what they hear or observe about you. For example, you tell someone you’ve lived in Sacramento since 1995, and they tell you “You must know this area really well.” Then they react all weird when you need directions or ask for help. Maybe I don’t like driving in that particular area or driven in it enough to have it make it to my long term memory.
You’re a Christian, you should know how to answer those questions.
You go to church, you should know better.
You repeat the same mistakes over and over. You should know better by now— perhaps the mistake wasn’t traumatic enough or there was no motivation or strong enough consequence to fix it.
You have a degree, you must have knowledge of ____, you should know about _____. Nope, probably slipped my mind.
You’re 23, you should know about ____ now. You should know what you want to do now (said every concerned aunt or uncle, haha).
You’re American, you should know about current events, you didn’t hear about that?
You’re Filipino, you should know Tagalog.
You’re a theatre major, you should know how to talk to people. My communication skills, more specifically my small talk skills are crap.
You should know about _____, it’s happening in your immediate area.
When you ask for help, you should know about that already. I shouldn’t have to tell you.@4 months ago
How does one balance their own needs and wants with the needs and wants of other people? Where do you draw the line? How much needs to be sacrificed on either side? Are they meant to be in conflict? What’s the best way to guarantee both sides are happy? Do both sides necessarily have to be happy?
There are so many instances in life where you have to make choices that are either for the benefit of yourself or for the benefit of others. Each choice you make adds onto the previous choice and therefore could result in strained relationships and changes in priorities. At times, the product of your choices could result in the complete sacrifice of your own wants or vice versa. The particular choice I make affects the relationship I have with myself or others, there’s always a consequence. Perhaps I’m just reading too much into this and decision making should either be selfish or selfless. Is the need for balance even necessary?
I am currently one of those people who isn’t quite secure with themselves and sometimes these seemingly easy and quick decisions just stress me out. What do I value more? Who should be making the sacrifices?@3 months ago
**Note, this post needs to be edited, just wanted to empty ideas first and sort them later.
One of the most difficult things to do. There are also times where you want to ask for help, but you are discouraged from doing so. Either because of pride or the person you ask help from makes a big deal about it. (I think this post can expand into people who feel the need to give advice also.)
Anywho, I think of situations with my mom. I don’t always appreciate the help she gives, so I most often react negatively to it. (eg backseat driving) But when I do need help, eg my first time doing taxes, she has expectations.
What I think people need to realize, and it’s a concept I learned about from Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages:
Early Childhood (2 to 3 years) Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt Toilet Training Children need to develop a sense of personal control over physical skills and a sense of independence. Success leads to feelings of autonomy, failure results in feelings of shame and doubt.
Preschool (3 to 5 years) Initiative vs. Guilt Exploration Children need to begin asserting control and power over the environment. Success in this stage leads to a sense of purpose. Children who try to exert too much power experience disapproval, resulting in a sense of guilt.
I feel like my mom, or many moms for that matter don’t understand the need we as kids have to be independent. I’ve wanted to exercise my independence so many times but have been encountered with unwanted help eg cooking, shopping, career wise. I want my mom to understand my desire to make choices and to acknowledge that I may ask for help, or I may not ask for help. What I want ultimately, is for my mom to understand and accept either option I choose to make. And to understand that asking for help isn’t always easy.
Maybe I’m just over exaggerating again.@4 months ago